I must admit, more and more I’m not wearing my wedding ring.
As a stay at home dad, I spend a good part of my time at home alone so no-one can see whether I’m wearing it or not.
And it can be impractical to wear it in some situations.
I remember shortly after my wife and I first tied the knot, one of my work colleagues was admiring my wedding ring.
I suggested to her that I take it off so she could have a closer look and she was horrified at the prospect.
According to her once the thing is on your finger, you shouldn’t remove it. Almost like you’d break your marriage vows.
It took me aback because I’d not considered people would react in that way.
To me, there are a number of good reasons why I might not wear it all of the time.
It No Longer Fits
Since I got married in 2003, I’ve lost a fair bit of weight.
Consequently, my wedding ring doesn’t fit on my finger as snuggly as it used to.
I’m loathed to get it resized because of its design.
It’s made up of four quarters of white, yellow and rose gold and if you take a bit out of one of the quarters it wouldn’t look right.
I have considered getting a cheaper replacement in the past but I’m not sure that feels like the right thing to do either.
Perhaps a solution would be to wear it attached to a chain around my neck.
But surely an important part of wearing a ring is that people can see it?
According to a tradition believed to have been derived from the Romans, the wedding ring is worn on the left hand ring finger because there was thought to be a vein in the finger, referred to as the ‘Vena Amoris’ or the ‘Vein of Love’ said to be directly connected to the heart.
I Don’t Want To Lose It
I go running outdoors at least four times a week.
With my wedding ring being a bit loose these days, I leave it at home every time I go running.
I really don’t want to lose it so that seems a sensible thing to do.
Even if it fit really well though, I’d take it off to go for a run.
There’s more chance of me losing it if I’m out running and I’d be less likely to notice.
There’s been times that I’ve mislaid it in the house and struggled to find it.
So I can only imagine it would be like finding a needle in a haystack if I lost it outside.
I know I’m not the only one wrestling with this dilemma.
It’s something that John Adams talks about in his post. “When is it acceptable to remove your wedding ring?“.
Whilst spending time in Australia without his family he decided to leave his at home:
“My wedding ring means a lot to me. The potential risk of losing it while so far from home filled me with dread.”
I would have done the same thing.
Sometimes I Forget
When I’m rushing out of the house and I’m not wearing my ring, I sometimes forget to put it on.
It’s usually when I need to pick the kids up from school.
I’ll often have locked the backdoor, gotten into the car and realised I’m not wearing it.
At that point I can’t be bothered to open the gate, unlock the door and go back in and hunt for my wedding ring.
But it’s not like I’ve forgotten I’m married. I don’t need a ring to remember that.
Although I do sometimes feel a little uncomfortable someone might notice and question me about it.
That hasn’t happened so far though.
It Can Be Uncomfortable
I’m not sure why but sometimes when I wear my wedding ring, my finger aches.
It gets to the point where it can feel quite uncomfortable and I have to remove it for a little while.
You’d think that would happen more commonly if it were too tight on my finger but as it’s not it’s more of a mystery.
It’s also not like I wear a really huge heavy piece of metal on my finger either.
I wanted it to be something subtle when I bought it rather than garish and unwieldy.
But that still doesn’t stop my finger from aching!
I’m Not Religious Or Superstitious
By rights I’m Protestant and my wife’s Catholic but neither of us are of a religious persuasion.
We got married at a beautiful hotel in the West Midlands and had our reception at the same place.
It would have felt hypocritical to have tied the knot in church because we don’t ever attend.
Because I’m not religious or superstitious, not always wearing my wedding ring isn’t a big deal.
Not that I want to compartmentalise anyone but I imagine that would be frowned upon by regular church-goers.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the significance of wearing the ring, I just don’t need to wear it all the time to show my commitment to my wife.
And I certainly don’t believe it’s a bad omen or anything daft like that.
In fact, I share similar views in many ways to Lori Garcia in her post, “6 reasons why I don’t wear my wedding ring“:
“I made my vows to my husband, not my wedding ring.”
Do You Always Wear Your Wedding Ring?
I’m curious. Is your wedding ring glued to your finger or do you not wear it sometimes or all of the time?
For what reasons would you find yourself not wearing it?
Do you keep a spare one which you wear out most of the time and keep a more expensive one safely hidden away?
Please let me know in the comments section below.