When it comes to forming friendships my kids have very different approaches.
My son finds it easy to get stuck in and make friends, whereas my daughter struggles.
I’m not sure that intervening when she does need help making friends is the right thing to do though.
Particularly as the girls in her class at school aren’t the friendliest bunch around.
The Age Of Innocence
At the age of seven, I would hope that my daughter doesn’t need to worry much about the world around her.
She’s a lovely innocent little one who finds it hard to get her head around friendship groups.
It’s not uncommon for her to be sidelined in a bigger group.
For her, it’s all about the one to one connections.
But the other little girls in her life are quite blingy and seem to be growing up way too fast.
It’s one reason why she tends to shy away from her peers and looks to play with younger children.
A new girl joined her year in September who I think would be an ideal friend for her.
But she ended up in another class, so my daughter seems less inclined to want to get to know her.
Perhaps it’s times like these where they do need help making friends.
Everything’s Very Loud
Whilst they’ve been resolved she does seem to shout when she talks some of the time.
In fact she’s generally just a bit loud.
I suspect it could be from her hearing issues but it may not be.
I’ve noticed sometimes children will put their hands over their ears if she’s being too loud.
When you need help making friends, that’s not a good sign.
It’s not easy to tell your seven-year-old daughter to tone it down a bit.
I have tried but it doesn’t seem to really compute.
Can I Play?
My daughter’s natural instinct when she wants to join in with other kids is to ask if she can play.
That can immediately provide an answer being “no” of course which to a seven-year-old can be hurtful.
My nine-year-old son on the other hand uses a different tack.
He asks what the other kids are playing and how he can join in.
f I’ve even heard my son talk to my daughter about this because he also realises she needs help making friends.
But the trouble is she can often be quite shy too.
The thought of going up to a group of kids to ask them what they’re playing goes out of the window.
Perhaps “can I play?” is an easier thought process for her to compute.
It’s short and to the point but may also lead to disappointment.
Similarities With Parents
It’s amazing how similar our kids are to us as parents.
I know my wife was very shy as a youngster whereas I was more like my son.
After primary school though I struggled with friendship groups.
I hated secondary school. It was a terrible experience.
And since then I much prefer one to one connections.
We can try to guide our kids if they need help making friends, however do we make it worse because of our own experiences?
To a certain extent I think kids need to sort things out on their own.
If I hover over my daughter all the time she’s never going to develop her own social skills.
Do Kids Need Help Making Friends?
Would you intervene to help your kids make friends? How would you go about it?
Or do you keep a safe distance and let them get on with it?
Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section.