The Agony Of Watching Nicola Sturgeon Has Made Me Gain Weight

The last time I put on weight was Christmas time.

I didn’t mind so much because it was the festive season and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Lately though there’s a less savoury reason I’ve struggled to maintain my weight.

And that is Nicola Sturgeon and the SNP.


I’ve been using MyFitnessPal now for several months since I stopped using my Fitbit Surge.

It integrates with my Garmin Forerunner 735XT so it’s perfect to keep an eye on what I eat.

And I’ve been doing that pretty well apart from a Christmas binge.

That is until recent events surrounding the future of the UK resurfaced from the bowels of hell.

It can get tedious monitoring everything you eat.

Whilst I’m usually motivated to do it sometimes I just feel annoyed or frustrated and monitoring goes by the wayside.

Depressing Speeches

The worst time for feeling demotivated in a long time has happened since Nicola Sturgeon announced her bid for secession from the UK. Again…

The speech she made at Bute House was depressing and since then we’ve had the whole SNP conference debacle it’s only gotten worse.

I know it’s all words and a lot of them are just political hot air.

But it makes me want to comfort eat – almost as a defence from her getting to me.

So far Nicola Sturgeon has contributed to me putting on almost half a stone.

That’s even with me running at least 15 miles a week to try to keep fit.

Always Seeking The Limelight

And it never seems to stop because she seeks the limelight.

I get the impression that if she’s not on the TV or in the newspapers she’ll do something stupid just to get noticed.

I usually switch to another channel if she’s monopolising the main channels.

You’d think it would be good publicity for her to be everywhere but it only makes me dislike her more.

It seems to be constant whinging, whining and veiled xenophobia.

I found myself eating three packets of Haribo the other day after a particularly agonising day of Nicola Sturgeon.

I think there should be a phrase – being sturgeoned.

Bad For Me And The Family

What it boils down to is that anything to do with the SNP makes me feel stressed.

When I’m stressed I feel aggravated and when I’m aggravated I’m not motivated to look after myself.

I started running and watching what I eat because I wanted to keep fit and be around for the kids as long as I can be.

Nicola Sturgeon doesn’t seem to want to help me out with that.

I get the impression she doesn’t care that those with young kids want a better future for them not economic suicide for the next 50 years.

A generation of kids will end up hating the SNP forever.

I get Brexit’s going to be tough but at least there’s strength in numbers in the UK.

I Need A Nicola Sturgeon Free Zone

This week I’m determined to get back on track.

As soon as anything SNP related crosses my path I just need to look the other way or change the channel.

If I can, I need to have a Nicola Sturgeon free zone to feel more positive and keep the haribo at bay.

Don’t get me wrong I like to hear both sides of a story but I already did that in 2014 and my decision hasn’t changed.

I’m aiming to get back down to my goal weight of 11 and a half stone in 6 weeks.

If I have an SNP free month and a half I can only see positive things happening.

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